Wednesday, June 1, 2011

a death in the family.

my dear friends,

there was a death in the family. her name was "my phone" and she met a tragic and watery death when she jumped from the front pocket of my shorts -backwards- into a toilet behind me. she has been showing tiny signs of life, but ultimately, they're just post-death nerve twitches.

gross. anyway, i feel tragically lost without my phone. i am honestly the kind of person that is considered missing or dead when i don't answer the phone or respond immediately, and i tend to panic without being able to get in touch with people. i'm slightly paranoid that the SECOND my phone dies, someone is going to fall off of a cliff or something, and i'm the only one lithe enough to save them...? i don't know. point is, if something can go wrong, it will -- at least when it comes to my phone dying. on top of being known as the most reachable person on the planet, i am also notorious for being a phone killer. i've probably gone through between 10-12 since i started college. i promised myself that once i got the iphone 4, i would be twice are careful, but apparently my pocket didn't make that promise with me.

so, as to deal with my heartache, i have decided to rid myself of my aggression with a few letters to the culprits involved.

dear shorts,

you have served me well, but yesterday you did a bad thing. i do not appreciate when you do things like give me a mom pooch and throw my phone into the toilet. i really needed that phone to not be filled with water, and you knew that, yet you still tossed my phone like a piece of trash. i still love you, and i will continue to wear you daily, but you should know that i am not happy with you right now.


dear toilet,
how DARE you eat my phone!? i don't even KNOW you, and you think it appropriate to fill my phone with your nasty toilet water. while you served your purpose just fine, you crossed the line when you and my shorts conspired against me to make my life difficult. i will forgive you eventually, but only after i have a working cellular device again. for the time being, you suck.


well, i feel better -- even if my phone doesn't.

m. wilson


    MS. BETH

  2. My condolences. I, too, am an iPhone 4 lover, and would be devastated if mine reenacted a scene from the Titanic into the potty.


mm whatcha say?